Well ... into one point ... after publishing 20 books of love essays ... i've had a very serious discussion with myself and ...
Yes ... i've said it again that i'll not write again about love ....
But ... damn it ... i just loved the concept.
I loved all related to .... love.
And even if i knew that a love story is many times ... illusory ... and might ruin completely our souls ... destroying them forever ... I've continued to write my perceptions about the subject.
The funny thing is that ... promising myself i'll never be again into a love story ... i've started to analyse the couples i saw on the stage of my life.
And what was intriguing me the most was why a man and a woman ... even when the love between them is so damn obvious... still do stupid things ... which are actually ruining all?!
Why if both of them are in love of each other .... what the hell could be the meaning of the non sense psychological games we are doing?!
And even worst ... why do we see very intelligent people ... playing so, so stupid on that stage of a love story?
Why do they need to do stupid things?!
Why they jump from love to hate so easily?!
Also ... why the hell ... even the ones knowing a lot about psychology ... don't do the right things?!
And had many occasions to see people which I'll generally define as Mr and Mrs Freud ... practicing the nonsense into a love story .... on and on and on.
The final question remains ... why?!
I could not find a real answer... but i've dared to continue analysing and defining into my writings .... the subject.
Into the end ... maybe i could declare that i don't really have a conclusion .... but i love to talk about love.
The subject itself ... is intriguing my soul.
So .... I went deeper and deeper into my essays... being obsessed of a hope similar with the one of ... touching the horizon line.
It's maybe ... ridiculous ... but .. i give myself the freedom to suffer of this addiction.
I've started to write my first book at 16 ... but then ... realizing i could not publish it ... i've abandoned the idea of being a ... writer.
20 years later ... i've started to write again ... believing i will finally succeed ... but i've failed one more time ... not getting the success i was chasing for.
Another 5 years later ... i've started one more time to write ... but this time ... more as a therapy.
It's what i've defined as ... self therapy.
I was analyzing and defining lots of weird ideas ... that were a lot related to me ... and my own soul.
I totally forgot that i was chasing for success.
I was simple writing my thoughts ... in essays ... becoming this way ... maybe not a writer .... but what many define as ... an essayist.
This is not a poet ... and not a writer.
Or maybe is kind of a poet that is incapable of writing poetry ... but is still expressing his thoughts ... into a similar way ... as a poet.
And is not a writer ... cause have not the ability to write for too long time ... about the same subject.
But maybe i am not an essayist... either.
I am just an ordinary person ... that could be better defined ... as a thinker.
Analyzing ... and defining my life ... practicing this process called ... self therapy ... i started to understand life ... and the way to better paths which i should follow.
And i've wrote ... and wrote ... and wrote ... realizing one day that i've published tens of books .... not really understanding how the hell I've succeeded doing that.
Today i dare to recommend writing ... as a therapy.
I could even say ... it's a simple way of understanding who we are ... but also a process that could help us ... heal our souls.
I personally continue to ... write.
It's in fact ... a non ending story that ... at least for myself ... will probably continue for the rest of my life.
But over all ... i am glad ... i am doing it.
I continue my philosophical journey ... not being able to define myself for clear as a writer or an essayist... but ...
Well .... most probably... i am on a good path.
And ... i would dare to recommend to everyone ... all what i am doing today.