Reasons to Stay Alive

I took a break from socials and the first book i read was this. It's short but really helpful, as someone who never got help and had to do some self helping, reading this book really helped me out and changed my perspective on lots of things, compared to me before reading this book, now I'm way better and i appreciate life more and really care about my mental and physical wellbeing, it's really inspiring and i can't thank the writer enough for writing this book! 🩷🩷

It took me quite some time to finish this book, but not because I enjoyed it and spent time deep reading and reflecting on it. It’s because with every several pages, I had difficulty deciding if it’s really worth reading further. It was recommended to me by a good friend with a really good excerpt that caught my attention and triggered my curiosity about the promising content I once expected it to be. Unfortunately, it turned out that good excerpt and a few other isolated paragraphs are all I could resonate with, but not at a personal level though. In my opinion, the majority of this book, if not ramblings, are random random thoughts, not deep though and certainly not wisdom, presented in a very unorganised writing style. It felt like everything was all over the place, just like the mind state of a person with depression, but it offered little help or insights whatsoever to truly understand the manifestation of this disorder in personal context and thus the rightful course of action for recovery. The author, indeed, has no medical or psychological knowledge about the matter he was discussing throughout the whole book. Sure, one can argue that this was just a personal account of his experience but still, I feel it’s pointless and even dangerous for those who suffer from depression to read this book. The dangerous part here is that the author implied depression is a part of who a person is even long after he/she gets over it and it can happen to anybody with no reason whatsoever (name dropping of famous people) and flash back on anytime, inexplicably and unpredictably. I, a thousand times, disagree with this ignorant view and I’m sorry for his lack of knowledge. This proves the author did not fully understand what depression really is about, the personal context that comes with it and what real recovery is like, as well as his own mental problem, in particular. His description of the relationship with his girlfriend also bothered me. It sounds pretty much to me like a dysfunctional relationship where one side presumably does all the caring and the earnings, patiently, from A to Z. This may create a dependent mentality in readers with depression that leads them to seek the same kind of companionship, which is utterly wrong. It is nice that the author was aware of his girlfriend’s sacrifice and deeply appreciated her presence during the time he was ill. But I wonder has he ever wondered what he could have done or do to make her happy after or even before each time he knew his depression was on set? Or he just succumbed to whatever effects it might have on him and somehow expected his girlfriend to always be there to cope with him? I dislike the part where he described he kissed her but all in his head was some demon gazing at them without any consideration towards her feelings. This means he was not present with this supposedly intimate and beautiful moment at all and that made the three words “I love you” he said to her earlier before they kissed sound utterly insincere and unauthentic. Please understand that if you are depressed, you are certainly not in a healthy position to start or be in a relationship, if a person decides to be with you, not like a lover, but a true friend, understand your problem, care for you, give you time and space to heal yourself and always be there for you no matter what, please empathise with them more than they empathise with you.

I would highly recommend this book - I don't read books but I decided to read this and am so glad I did. I am sure taking on board some (or most) of the techniques Matt Haig uses to heal the self will help me beyond my wildest dreams. I am so sick of people who have never experienced the kind of stress that triggers anxiety and depression putting in their penny's worth and thinking they have all the answers, which clearly they don't! Reasons to Stay Alive has been a good basis for me to understanding the mechanics of my mental health, or whatever you wish to call it. Thank you Matt and keep well always.