Confessions of a Guidette
Nov 2011 · Simon and Schuster
4.2star
33 reviewsreport
eBook
192
Pages
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About this eBook
Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi has a lifestyle most guidettes dream about. But can she help it if she was born to love fake tans and juiceheads? In this must-have guide to being a guidette, America’s favorite pint-sized princess shares her secrets for ROCKING it, Jersey-style.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to arm yourself with bronzer, a tease comb, and makeup brushes and join the Snooki Style Revolution. When guidettes march in, people notice. It’s the attitude. The boldness. The sex appeal. The tan. The serious shortage of hairspray in the surrounding area. You have to experiment in life, or you’ll be boring. From her top twenty-five rules for being a guidette, to her smushable makeup and skin secrets, to her rules on Snookin’ for love, Snooki’s sickest tips and advice for friggin’ owning it are all here, along with hundreds of full color photographs and the official Snictionary for easy reference.
But that’s not all. There’s a lot more to the diminutive reality star than what you see on TV. Snooki shares her obsessions (her bed, Viva Glam Gaga bright pink lipstick, sci-fi movies) and some juicy behind-the-Shore secrets (which season was her favorite, what it was like to wake up in a jail cell in season two, why the house smells like alcohol and dog’s butt). For everything else, you’ll just have to read the book!
Being a guidette princess is about being yourself, doing what you want, and trying to have a good time wherever you are. So strap yourselves in, bitches! And get ready for the ride.
***
It’s the Snooki Style Revolution, bitches!
“My biggest nightmare is waking up pale. Or without eyelashes.”
“A guidette has to know how to have fun anywhere. Like, if you’re stuck in a cardboard box, you have to rock it.”
“LOVE my slippers. It’s like wearing beds on your feet.”
“If you can smell hair gel from a mile away, it signals guido mating season.”
“I like to wear so many accessories that people are confused.”
“Guidettes are born with attitude. It doesn’t matter if you’re tall, skinny, round, or a Smurf, or what your background is, we put on our bronzer and we fricken rock our princess status. Like, get out of our way, we don’t care what you think. Unless you’re a mirror.”
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to arm yourself with bronzer, a tease comb, and makeup brushes and join the Snooki Style Revolution. When guidettes march in, people notice. It’s the attitude. The boldness. The sex appeal. The tan. The serious shortage of hairspray in the surrounding area. You have to experiment in life, or you’ll be boring. From her top twenty-five rules for being a guidette, to her smushable makeup and skin secrets, to her rules on Snookin’ for love, Snooki’s sickest tips and advice for friggin’ owning it are all here, along with hundreds of full color photographs and the official Snictionary for easy reference.
But that’s not all. There’s a lot more to the diminutive reality star than what you see on TV. Snooki shares her obsessions (her bed, Viva Glam Gaga bright pink lipstick, sci-fi movies) and some juicy behind-the-Shore secrets (which season was her favorite, what it was like to wake up in a jail cell in season two, why the house smells like alcohol and dog’s butt). For everything else, you’ll just have to read the book!
Being a guidette princess is about being yourself, doing what you want, and trying to have a good time wherever you are. So strap yourselves in, bitches! And get ready for the ride.
***
It’s the Snooki Style Revolution, bitches!
“My biggest nightmare is waking up pale. Or without eyelashes.”
“A guidette has to know how to have fun anywhere. Like, if you’re stuck in a cardboard box, you have to rock it.”
“LOVE my slippers. It’s like wearing beds on your feet.”
“If you can smell hair gel from a mile away, it signals guido mating season.”
“I like to wear so many accessories that people are confused.”
“Guidettes are born with attitude. It doesn’t matter if you’re tall, skinny, round, or a Smurf, or what your background is, we put on our bronzer and we fricken rock our princess status. Like, get out of our way, we don’t care what you think. Unless you’re a mirror.”
Ratings and reviews
4.2
33 reviews
A Google user
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5 July 2012
I actually like this book personally bcuz I love snooki bcuz she's fun and she doesn't give a fxxx bout what anybody says about her but I actually like the book its helpful if you wanna be a guidette
A Google user
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19 December 2011
I do think this is a very good book. It not only talks about how she has had her fair share of differences of guys, and how she likes to have them in a specific way. She has written this book in a way that you can resemble her, but not fully be like her. She talks about how different she seems in "Jersey Shore" The show only gives her so much time to express herself and with all the drama that has been going on, throughout all of the seasons and episodes, that no one can blame her, and everybody that they can't express themselves the way they are. But, overall This book will definitely teach you about girl code, and about how important your besties are.
James Luzbetak
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23 October 2014
Reads like a court document. Doesn't end with "How does the defendant plea?"
3 people found this review helpful
About the author
Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is a reality television star who broke into the spotlight on MTV’s reality show Jersey Shore in December 2009. Her popularity on Jersey Shore helped make it one of the highest rated series in MTV history, with more than 5.7 million viewers tuning in for the finale.
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